Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Posted 8:59 PM by Gene

A Big G operative likens our b-ball team to "the Hindenburg." Please, save the melodrama for the featurettes. We should remember that America has more of the best athletes in more sports than the rest of the world combined. (To be sure, this is not an unalloyed virtue, as the professional college teams and the likes of THE DOPE readily show; but that's another story.) The Orgies are largely a showcase of quirky niche sports, and any sport with a following comes up against scheduling conflicts here and overseas that prevent the superstars from showing up; besides, pro sport trumps the Orgies with one word: MONEY. Not even The HOLY ELEVEN can change that.

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