THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
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Additional casting has been announced for the upcoming TV remake of "Once Upon a Mattress."
As previously reported, the TV film will star Tracey Ullman as Princess Winnifred, Matthew Morrison as Sir Harry, Denis O'Hare as Prince Dauntless and Zooey Deschanel as Lady Larkin. Carol Burnett, who starred in Mattress on Broadway in 1959 and on television in 1964 (in black and white) and in 1972 (in color), will play the conniving Queen Aggravain.
Liz Smith reports that Tommy Smothers has joined the company as King Sextimus and Edward Hibbert, who had been in negotiations, will indeed play the role of the Wizard. ABC will present the television special, although no air date has been announced.
Culture? This is exhumation.