THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
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He had been chased by police for miles through North Patchogue early Friday. His car had slid over an embankment into a pond. It was sinking fast and filling with water.
But all Yaysn Abdul-Mattin wanted to do, police said, was suck on his crack pipe.
"We kept calling out 'Get out of the car! You're going to drown!'" Suffolk Police Officer Armand Reyes said. "But the only thing we heard was the sound of his lighter going click, click, click."
When the water rose chin-high, Abdul-Mattin dropped the pipe....
Yaysn! MEET RICKY WILLIAMS!