Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Thursday, August 26, 2004

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

The other day the hacks, when not fulminating over the rapid meltdown of their hero DIPPITY-DO!!!!! on the hustings, ran yet another press release for a favorite magazine. Hef's rag long ago outlived its usefulness. And it wasn't that original in the first place; it was the mere bastard offspring in print of the great Ziegfeld's great shows, and of his imitators in Broadway and burlesque, who differed from Ziegfeld by putting the leer in public nudity. Then the NINE FINGERS IN THE WIND knew it when they saw it when they felt it when they pinched it when they smelled it, and quickly sex became BORING, and Hef's masterwork a relic that could not modernize without being porno, but couldn't stay the same without being retro, and today floats in a hopeless time warp. This is also a tacit admission that, face it, today's models are faceless.

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