Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, August 22, 2004

Posted 3:44 PM by Gene

STERNO blew a gasket today! He says he doesn't care about Vietnam. The reason we're fighting the war again is because DIPPITY-DO made it his trademark. And it's very relevant to terrorism, STERNO: we lost Vietnam because we lost our will; we could similarly lose the war on terrorism. In the first instance NEWS HACKS played a heroic part in our defeat; they've been trying for several years to extend their winning streak. Incompetent though Dubya is in many ways, we can't afford DIP because he has said in so many words (like "sensitive") he would fight terrorism reactively. America can't afford ZAPISM. And if that's fighting Vietnam again, so be it.

Oh and STERNO, wasn't it not long ago when you were praising partisan news? Now you want "balanced accounts." Why? Becuase THE GODS OF THE AGE -- namely, YOURSELF AND YOUR FELLOW SUPERMEGABOOGGERS -- have FAILED. What's more, you're an ADDICTION. "Maybe I rely too much on Instapundit." HMMMMMMMMMMM. Famous last words from a SUPERMEGABLOGGER.

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