Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, August 13, 2004

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

This is why I am so incredibly jaundiced about the GE Bancorp Orgy: it's about manufacturing heroes; it's about inventing virtues (athleticism as heroism, for one; you'd think L'Affaire Kobe would teach us something); it's about bathos; it's about showing off; it's about huge corporations wasting money on hubris and their CEOs' immortality; it's about Babbittry; it's about avarice; it's about fear. For seventeen intolerable days the news hacks of the world will get out every last hackeneyed trope and frayed adjective to convince us something "historic" is happening, that something "unforgettable" is in the air, when only the expert or the most hopeless of the Orgy's addicts can tell any difference between the best of this show's derring-do and the last, and when the seventeen intolerable days are over hardly anyone save the CEOs and the hacks will remember anything, and all that will remain are the debts, and the losses, and the headaches.

And THEN comes the SECOND INFOMERCIAL. Oiiiiiiiiiiii!

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