Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

I figured out why I've gotten my most hits since the InstaSpike -- people are looking for the video of the execution of Eugene Armstrong. Sorry, none here, nor would there ever be; leave the vermin to themselves. To say this as delicately as possible, putting a computer before some folks may not make them smarter.

If on the other hand you're all hitting me up because of my brilliant wisdom (pffh-hh-hh), more power to you!

P. S. One thing I'm proud of is that 80 percent of my hits come from people with XP and 2000, so I must have a technologically savvy crowd. (Or maybe Bill sold them a lot of computers.) But how to explain why a fifth of them come from Netscape browsers? Go figure.

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