Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, September 29, 2004

    Posted 11:20 AM by Gene

    Remember that all-too-clever zero-sum-accounting stunt the TWXSTERS pulled with the Four Horseyfaces of the Metropolis? The one that involved a "REBRANDING"? It didn't work:

    The week “SATC” launched on TBS, four episodes ranked in the top 10 for the week, each episode averaging around 3 million households. Last week no episode of “SATC” finished in the top 50 in household delivery.

    1. The hard-core fans have already forgotten it -- if they didn't resent it being bowdlerized (not that we're talking Balzac -- and not that the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS would have minded); and 2. Who needs comedy when you have the Braves' announcers? (Sorry, we like them.)

    Unfortunately a lot more politically "astute" stoned slackers are watching VIACON's Comedy Central.

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