THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Republicans have one message for followers of many faiths: Sen. John Kerry is wrong. [Add sound effect here: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]
Wrong for Catholics, Mormons and Evangelicals say a number of Web sites that the Republican National Committee has created. Each Web site compiles excerpts of Kerry's comments and Senate voting record on social issues such as abortion, civil unions for same sex couples and school choice. [More sound effects: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]
Some headlines on the Web site for Catholics say, ``Kerry Said Vatican Should Not Instruct Catholic Politicians, Calling It 'Inappropriate''' and ``Kerry Expressed 'Moral Outrage' With Vatican's Statement On Gay Marriage.'' Kerry is -- Catholic. [BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!] [Special CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES OVEREMPHASIS added.]
Kerry campaign spokesman Phil Singer said the tactic is ``premised on the tactics of division, smear and insult. It's unfortunate, it's un-American and John Kerry is going to continue to make his case and make sure his record is not twisted by the Bush attack machine.''
At least one religious coalition, the left-leaning Interfaith Alliance, has called the Web sites insensitive, saying the GOP is trying to interpret religious beliefs for political advantage. Interfaith Alliance president Rev. C. Weldon Gaddy called the tactic ``abhorrent.''
TRANSLATION: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! A WEPUBWICAN'S wunning for PWESIDENT!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!