Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Posted 1:12 PM by Gene

Speaking of fine cuisine, I went to my local McDonald's, and I knew someone from OAK BROOK had been there because the Muzak® was on -- and it was LOUD. (Count on the Hamburger Dilberts not to notice the dirty floors, the broken fixtures, the surly help, the cups and tray liners still promoting THE GAMES; no, all is right in Kroc's Kingdom when the MUZAK® WORKS.) At least it was what the whizzes in JIM BAKKER'S FORMER HOMETOWN call "Classic" Muzak®, the background type from the days middle managers really believed the junk over the speakers could promote productivity. Despite the fact it's the source of "smooth 'jazz'" it's the one Muzak® I can tolerate because the "songs" are unfamiliar and risible -- unlike with the PESTILENCE of FOREGROUND MUSIC, the 200-song playlists each of which songs has played 500 trillion times and has some hook or shtick the renders it EXTREMELY IRRITATING. The one good thing is, Muzak® is LOSING MONEY. The bad thing is, no one pirates Muzak®.

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