Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, September 15, 2004

    Posted 2:47 PM by Gene

    VIACON NETWORK NEWS was supposed to issue "a statement" at noon. It's now going to issue "a statement" at 3:30. I wouldn't be surprised if the higher-ups (THE LORD GOD SUMNER, perhaps?) are demanding a retraction, and KENNETH's standing his ever-shakier ground. Thus I wouldn't be surprised if the day ends with DAN BLATHER relinquishing his throne as our modern-day MURROW and handing the crown to Girly-Man Roberts.

    Then again, it might just issue "a statement."

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