Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Posted 6:41 PM by Gene

It is clear G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER has something more than what it likes to call a LATENCY PROBLEM. They've been holding off installing some FIRMWARE for SIX DAYS. Since this involves what it calls LOAD BALANCING (I presume this has something to do with the terrific response time) clearly the new-minted SUPER-ZILLIONAIRES are afraid of screwing up their blogging disservice even more. To which I say, why worry? If you can't fix the problem -- and many other problems -- you can always shut down G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER, which you can spin as one big drain off your balance sheet. Or maybe you'll decide you can fix it -- but only if we bloggers chip in, oh, say, $10 a month, which will definitely help your BOTTOM LINE. Either way, YOU WIN!

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