Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, November 29, 2004

    Posted 11:45 AM by Gene

    Dubya's chosen the price-gouging sugar-sweetening Kellogg's CEO Mr. Gutierrez as his Commerce chief.

    What would you rather do -- make millions financing CRAPPY TELEVISION and boasting you know all of Hollywood, or run a bureaucracy?

    I guess Dubya needed another Hispanic.

    Then again...after four years at Commerce, maybe Carlos will go out and find himself another regal throne -- how does GE BANCORP sound? -- and thus emboldened his royal fits really WILL hit the fan!

    P. S. Prez calls him a "visionary." TRANSLATION: He bought Keebler.

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