Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

As Playbill.com has no risible revivals or dead-man's revues to tout I should mention that our local Merriam Theater Bus and Truck Stop (the only thing missing is the Phillips 66, and that's only because they don't sell it in these parts -- but you can still get gas there) has a new fume maker: something called SCROOGE -- THE MUSICAL. (Beware any title that has a definite article and a common noun. TWILIGHT ZONE -- THE MOVIE!!!!!) This one stars the aged Dr. Kildare in the title role. I mean, what did he ever have besides boyish good looks and a tinny voice? But he's at a truck stop, the same one in where Bob Goulet emitted some profitable carbon monoxide exhuming South Pacific, and we gotta FILL 'ER UP. I've mentioned before this place housed Kiss Me, Kate in tryouts (today they'd call it Taming of the Shrew -- THE MUSICAL, which might prompt Cole Porter to get back on that horse and break some more bones), and to mention the names, which are unjustly forgotten among the STUPIDS -- Alfred Drake, Patricia Morison, Harold Lang, Lisa Kirk -- now THERE magic was more than an ad-blurb copywriter's adjective. Who who had anything better to do would shell out his ducats to spend three hours squirming in his seat watching terminally chirpy waiters making too much noise with too little charm resuscitating a thirty-five year old score (music and lyrics: Leslie Bricusse!), while Dr. Kildare impersonates acting? At least OLIVER! has excellent, stirring songs, and a touch of humanity. What I would give to troop about ten blocks from here to the Erlanger (now a car-rental lot) to see Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews trying out My Fair Lady! Who would choose this instead? And how can any NEWS HACK, faced with such GENIUS, say with a straight face we live in a PLATINUM AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT?

But they do, and they will, and meantime more buses and trucks will vroom into the Merriam Bus and Truck Stop, and the Academy of Music Bus and Truck Stop, and the Forrest Theater Bus and Truck Stop, and countless other bus-and-truck stops throughout the nation, and stink up the culture. Where's Rachel Carson when we NEED her?