Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, December 20, 2004

    Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

    Kids at YMCA swim meet run into cross-dressing ball

    Hey what did they expect at the YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-M-C-A!

    The Ys are glorified welfare organizations and health spas that serve no real purpose. Lots of people work in them who don't want to know what the letters once stood for. Let's see, YMCA -- we can't call it YOUNG beause that's AGEIST, and we can't call it MEN'S because that's SEXIST, and we can't call it CHRISTIAN because that's AN ESTABLISHMENT OF RELIGION. I'VE GOT IT! WE'LL CALL IT THE A!!!!!

    Which I will do the next time these dimwitted orgs make the news. I've also a pretty good idea what I will call the people who pull the next stunt like this.

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