Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Tuesday, December 28, 2004

    Posted 2:34 PM by Gene

    A new management fad: CEOs GOOGLING themselves.

    I guess they've finally learned how to use computers.

    Meanwhile, e-mail addresses such as bill@gates.com are commonly used by people with no connection to the Microsoft founder. And some sites show a photo of him getting pie in the face and update his net worth with each fluctuation of Microsoft stock.

    Some of the information is true. Much isn't: www.billgatesisdead.com reports that Gates was assassinated in 1999.

    Obviously USAOKAY!!!!! never heard his body was taken over by a space alien.

    ERRRRRRRRRR....

    (SORRY, BUGMEISTER BILL!)

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