THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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It's also harmless and age-appropriate compared to what follows when kids hit junior high: sex and violence. The real offense, after all, isn't a few poop jokes, but the cynicism of the studios, and that's incurable.
Nothing like telling the audience nobody's taking YOUR power away.
OR:
REVENUES FOR THE TOP 100 MEDIA COMPANIES IN 2003:
$208,895,000,000
TOTAL REVENUES FOR THE TOP 100 MEDIA COMPANIES' PARENTS IN 2003:
$505,007,000,000
AVERAGE ANNUAL REVENUE GROWTH FOR THE TOP 100 MEDIA COMPANIES IN 2003:
7.716%