Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Posted 6:53 AM by Gene

This automatic typist does his pal BRENTCORP one better by saying they nominated Pulp Fiction, they nominated Martin's whack job on Jesus, they nominated Titanic and Olly, so hey, they can nominate this. Maybe that's why movies stink -- people MUST ALWAYS offer up EXCUSES.

Another problem with automatic typists is that they type when they don't have to -- in this case, excepting these accidental words:

The Passion is just a sadomasochistic bloodbath with quasi-religious overtones.

Why bother testing your keyboard when you've summed up everything in ONE SENTENCE?

Then again, I could sum the con-SER-va-tive's favorite movie up in one word:

WHAP!!!!!!!!!!

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