Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Posted 4:58 PM by Gene

WHY I HATE NEWS HACKS, PART 45,206: News hacks love to say one thing when they mean another. This TOENAIL.COM scribble is one of the classics. Clearly Jake and his boys want us out of Iraq, to suffer a humiliating defeat that would bolster their egos; but they can't quite admit that (although any news organization that could say RONALD REAGAN IS GOING TO HELL and get rewarded by CITIGROUP, TOYOTA, AMEX, JCPENNEY, etc., etc., ETC. can say ANYTHING), so they engage in the kind of sideways shuffle and statistical legerdemain that only makes people mad because as they struggle to read it they become convinced NEWS HACKS ARE UP TO NO GOOD AGAIN. Jake, if you want us out of Iraq, SAY SO. And now that you'll be employed by ST. WARREN OF BUFFETT you have the veritable equivalent of a CIVIL-SERVICE JOB: you can't be fired EVEN FOR CAUSE.

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