Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Monday, January 24, 2005

    Posted 1:50 PM by Gene

    By the way, HEAVENLY FATHER, Your holy prose shouting that GOOD WORK of Yours to Heaven got me so hell-fire-and-brimstone riled I only now realized it lacks a DISTRIBUTOR! I know we should be spreading THE WORD far and wide but isn't this going a little too far? I mean, if You can spread THE WORD for what You allege to be a comedy (praise PINCH, one that might offend RED-COUNTRY SENSIBILITIES), can't we spread THE WORD for -- Sean Huze?

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