Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, January 29, 2005

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

Lately -- I suppose to prove He is human -- THE LORD GOD PINCH has run some, well, QUIRKY stories in His rag. Several weeks ago He plugged an electronics Web site that sells things that I'd guess The LORD has been requesting to soothe His off hours when He isn't the source of all wisdom, things from Japanese electronics firms that they don't sell here, perhaps for a reason: things like $2,349 headphones "made with Japan's finest Hokkaido cherry tree (Asada) and high quality leather from Great Britain's royal leather goods manufacturing company - Connolly Luxury Goods Limited" (and not the most expensive they sell -- these are); $950 tube car stereos; $4,599 phonograph cartridges; and $11,799 speaker cables. Today He's run a story about an alleged new fad: big-rig tractors as SUVs. He also used the word "glitz" in a squib in His paper (not on His Web site) about Davos. I think I liked it better when His was the paper of record, and not THE PAPER OF RE-CORD.

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