Posted 9:14 AM by Gene

Oh speaking of OSCARS®, it's time for my ACADEMY AWARD® BEST-PICTURE NOMINEE PREDICTIONS. These should be easy. Here goes:

1. Martin's latest masterpiece, in part as a reward for the great job he did with TAXI DRI -- his stellar career;
2. CLINT'S Annual Masterpiece, because all the ad-blurb copywriters say it's GENIUS, and if we can trust anybody, boy, it's AD-BLURB COPYWRITERS;
3. That boredom about wine and quarrels or whatever it's about, if only because it got lots of AWARDS, and something that's won lots of AWARDS may deserve ANOTHER;
4. That snoozer about the SEX MASTER OF ALL TIME, because it confirms how totally wise we are;
5. PIXAR's latest animation, so we can avoid a total ARTHOUSE BOMB, and to lure the people who'll tune out in droves when they see all the ARTHOUSE FILMS that have been nominated, and to show that, for all the contempt we have for our audience, it's a FAMILY-FRIENDLY contempt. Besides, that other film's a SEQUEL. (Don't worry, it doesn't stand a chance.)

I give an outside shot to P. R. MIKE but they probably won't because it would make the Academy® members look like idiots -- but let us not forget, THEY ARE IDIOTS.

The winner when the nominations are announced. May the worst flick win!