Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, January 08, 2005

Posted 3:29 PM by Gene

The other day His Royal Excellency Lord Koppel of ESPNDOM (or was it a guest host? Or was it "ESPN SPORTS"?) devoted a half-hour of navel staring to why NFL players "leave early." And the first thing through my mind in reading this is that the Lord is as usual dispensing bunk. Yes, some players leave early, either because they've been beat up too badly or because they can't perform -- but I'd bet for all this blather about Jim "The Ac-TOR" Brown (who shouldn't count because he went on to a long career making bad movies and women) and Ricky DUHHHHHHHHHHH (who left to devote himself to his favorite hobby, getting stoned) many players manage to tough it out. Why shouldn't they with the money and transient fame? That they make more in three seasons than most will make in four lifetimes is reason enough. Please guys, don't give me the malarkey about burnout. You make too much money from the sport yourselves.

And you make too much money, LORD KOPPEL OF ESPNDOM -- PERIOD.

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