Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

I have been having trouble ALL DAY getting through to the CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS sitting MIDAS-LIKE in MOUNTAIN VIEW on their PAPER FORTUNES. Once again these JERKS do the least they can for their peons. After a brief flurry of activity in December -- some Wall Street sales...ANALYST may have threatened to write a not-so-gushing sales pitch -- G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER is back to being the SOFTWARE EQUIVALENT OF A PAPERWEIGHT. And these people have NO REASON TO GIVE A DAMN AS THEY'RE ZILLIONAIRES. Why don't the FRAUDS CUT THE COMEDY and PUT AN END TO THEIR BLOGGING LOSS LEADER?

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