Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, February 13, 2005

    Posted 9:09 AM by Gene

    If anyone should have a motto like "The Buck Stops Here" on his desk, it's Mr. Mark -- only it wouldn't be "The Buck Stops Here" (being a world-champion news hack, he's a world-champion buck-passer), but instead, "Remember: What We Don't Spin, We Must Sell!" And thank the Lord God St. Warren PAT KINGSLEY comes to the rescue -- AGAIN:

    The Flip Side of 50 Cent
    You know the rap superstar's story by now. Ex drug dealer, nine gunshot wounds, kind of a scary guy. We thought there had to be more to it than that—and what do you know?

    We know PAT, we KNOW, MR. MARK, he's a GENIUS -- and he has A RECORD TO SELL, so that makes him a DOUBLE GENIUS.

    Remember, THREE MILLION IDIOTS SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR MAGAZINE, MR. MARK -- BUT NONE AS IDIOTIC AS THE IDIOTS WHO WRITE AND EDIT IT.

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