Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, March 25, 2005

Posted 1:03 PM by Gene

The staff announcer, like the elevator operator, is a relic. Technology made both obsolete, but with the staff announcer accreted those sinister notions held only of BROADCASTERS: that BROADCASTERS, for all their excessive exposure, must be ANONYMOUS, and further (and here they were aided by the proud members of THE AMERICAN SOCIETY of WILFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS) they must all sound alike -- no accents, no quirks, nothing. THIS is the TRIUMPH of CHEAP CHANNEL, of 10,000 radio stations and 2,000 TV stations sounding EXACTLY alike. Here is a small but significant reason we hold BROADCASTERS on a level below CREMATORIUM OWNERS.

Little Jeffrey reading this would say, "Good! One less expense."

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