Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Friday, April 22, 2005

    Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

    IS the end in sight for the juke box musical, that cynically motivated, artistically bank rupt [SIC] subspecies of musical theater that's threatening to destroy Broadway?

    No, because I have MORE ideas for the kind of shows that will drive you NUTS! As in:

    SATURDAY IN THE PARK: THE CHICAGO® MUSICAL. The boomers' LAWRENCE A-WELK is sure to please as every one of their MUZAK-INSPIRED faux-jazz creations weaves a spell around the listeners -- and their wallets!

    XANADU!!!!! THE ELO® MUSICAL. What could be better than raising this turkey from the dead, perhaps as an "ironic" commentary of the disco trade -- and getting some perky face to play Olivia Newton-John? I don't know about Gene Kelly. They may have to raise him from the dead. Aw, get an AudioAnimatronics figure. The vast audiences who'll attend won't notice.

    I haven't even mentioned HALLOWEEN: THE KISS® MUSICAL!!!!!

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

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