Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Tuesday, May 03, 2005

    Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

    Here we were about to make guesswork fun of Robert "Over the" Hilburn for dancing in the aisles (or so we suppose; we don't subscribe to the LALATimes, nor would we) and out comes Orson Scott Card, the "SPEC-U-LA-TIVE" FICTIONIST and biiiiiiiiig fan of WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! The Jesus Slasher Movie, speculating in LALA that maybe Star Trek wasn't so hot. Okay, perhaps our youthful reminiscences are colored with nostalgia, and he makes a good point -- and then he ruins it with this typically SPEC-U-LA-TIVE-FICTIONIST typing:

    Now we finally have first-rate science fiction film and television that are every bit as good as anything going on in print.

    In other words, I'm a genius, and finally we have genius to match my genius. Problem is, Or-SON, all we have in the movies is sci-fi and horror, and that's thanks in no small way to the GET-A-LIFE types your speculative crew's infantile fantasies have inspired. Besides, isn't "first-rate science fiction film and television" an oxymoron anyway?

    And no, it's NOT a character from PHILIP K. DICK.

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