Posted 7:13 PM by Gene

Lately every time I've so much as walked into a chain store I've had to endure the unmitigated IDIOCY of Paul McCartney and WINGS. Everything about their noise is kee-yute and cloying and drug-addled and STUPID -- which makes it PERFECT for CREATING STRESS AND ANGER among CUSTOMERS. No this has nothing to do with musical snobbery; while I've been in increasing awe of Mozart's genius these last few days I'm going to spend the weekend rocking to Bill Haley and Johnny Cash. But I already resent it that when we go shopping we must be subjected to CHEAP CHANNEL, even though the company's evidently not in foreground muzak (as one would think it should be, given its desire to annoy the living devil out of people with ADS, regardless of what its guinea-pig listeners may think); and it must always be the same shrivelled selection of Music for Alfred E. Neuman to Drool By, played against our will. The next time I hear SUMWUNKNOKNATDOOH I'm going to knock on the store manager's thick skull and demand to know WHO inflicts this garbage on us, and send a letter to that company's CEO -- and the CHAIN STORE'S.