Posted 4:58 PM by Gene

Many years ago John Adams (John Who?) said of July 4,

"I believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great
anniversary festival....[I]t ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other...."

John Adams had cause to celebrate; he helped found a nation. His heirs of the next century had cause to celebrate; they brought the nation to maturity after a costly Civil War. Those the century after had cause to celebrate: they successfully fought two world wars. What do we have to celebrate? Despite our easy wins over the forces of evil they left a sinister unspoken message they'd be back. And what do we have to fight for? RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S airhead girlfriend? Luke Spielberg? [C]RAP? The maroons of Congress?

I sigh ineffectually because on the top of its front page KnightRidder's Dinky Inky celebrates that the damfool Bob Geldof is bringing one of his dubious relief fundraisers to our town, with what the Dink alleges to be "big acts" (though he and it don't name them), and they'll be in the middle of the Independence weekend, and I think, these clowns wouldn't know the Declaration of Independence if it went in on side of their thick skulls and out the other. All this means more traffic, and more self-congratulation, and more MUTED questions about where the money's going (WHAT HAPPENED WITH LIVE AID I?), but the Dinky Inky MUST run this piece of PR junk because it thinks it will sell papers. Or as some hack named Klein must type, "It will be July 2 on Ben Franklin Parkway, in the middle of the city's JAM-PACKED!!!!! Fourth of July festivities...." "Jam-packed" is a reason the sooner computers write and edit our papers THE BETTER.

P. S. The next time the Dinky Inky feels the compulsion to sell coming on it should ape its corporate cousins in Detroit. Running an ad on the front page has the virtue of HONEST SELLING.

OR:

"I haven't seen the advertisement that covers 1A of today's Free Press, but I'm even more outraged by what's actually on 1A. Half the front page is devoted to a readers' survey of who the Detroit Pistons' most valuable player is."

Who says a paper has to report what you NEED to know?

P. P. S.



The only good thing about looking this up on DinkyInky.com is that we get to see that beautiful behind again.