Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Tuesday, May 03, 2005

    Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

    New U.S. military base closings "will be tsunamis in the communities they hit," the chairman of the commission that will help decide which facilities survive said Tuesday as his panel met for the first time.

    This is a stupid thing to say -- first given that no base closure ever killed 200,000, nor did any tsunami save any money. Closing bases may be a misguided way of pinching pennies, but with OSSIFIED KLEAGLE and THE GREAT ALASKAN PIG peeking from behind every gold-plated Congressionally-inspired edifice, what's the choice?

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