Posted 4:48 PM by Gene

The time has come for NEWS HACKS to organize a quadrennial political convention that would state boldly and honestly their prejudices and bigotries. This would not seem necessary given their uncanny ability to weasel their way into everything with their weasel words; but if we're going to have bias let's have it forthrightly. Let the hacks assemble in raucous brotherhood -- PERSONHOOD -- and state flat out their buncombe on everything. Yes, and let them draft a PLATFORM! We'd finally have something tanglible to measure their moral evasions and shifty words by.

And who better to lead such a convention than GOD? Yes, He is a jackass and a windbag to the nth degree, but whenever He speaks His bigotries He is honest as the Klansman burning his cross or the Nazi saluting a swastika; in the realest sense He's the biz' spokesman, with His fiery inability to see beyond His glasses, and His vigorous pursuit of the half-truth to justify His ends. No, GOD should speak for the industry, and what better soapbox could He have than a gathering of COMMITTED JERNALISTS?