Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, May 22, 2005

Posted 8:04 AM by Gene

Well! It's been several weeks since we stuffed an anonymous Koran down an unknown toilet, and a few lives with it, so after splashing on some eau de toilet what does the "CHAIRMAN" of BLUNDER rag propose to do? He will be more CAREFUL using ANONYMOUS SOURCES! Well aren't WE relieved! So we'll cut down on our anonymous sources -- until the next hot story (or chance to trash a CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN), when the COMPETITIVE PRESSURES will be too GREAT to bear, and we can soothe ourselves knowing we've TRUSTED and VERIFIED a source nobody else can, which means BLUNDER rag will continue its heritage of running hard-hitting TRUTHS (hard-hitting if you're a CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN) and marshmallow-creamy SHOW-BIZ PLUGS -- like the one no doubt coming up for the cartoon maker LUKE SPIELBERG (got THAT one)!

Onward and upward, DICK!

Thank God, I mean, ST. WARREN for disposable circulation clerks -- and that nobody reads the magazine!

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