Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, May 15, 2005

Posted 7:56 AM by Gene

What the hell is going on with MR. MARK? You'd think by now he'd have put SOMETHING on the cover to get the faithful excited. GEORGE WASHINGTON? Must've discovered he was LIBERAL. (Oh, it's DAVID McCULLOUGH. That means we have a BOOK to SELL, so that's not TOO bad.) Mr. MARK must still be sore because he lost the battle for LUCAS SPIELBERG Part VI to the EEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL forces on Columbus Circle. Don't worry, MR. MARK -- there are plenty more masterpieces ahead; we've bet you've signed a contr -- you'll do a cover story on that other LUCAS SPIELBERG later on. Which reminds us of the legend about George and the cherry tree. I can see you, Mr. Mark: "I cannot tell the truth. DICK PARSONS did it."

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