Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, July 31, 2005

Posted 12:34 PM by Gene

With the alleged B.O. down an alleged TWENTY PERCENT-PLUS from last year there will be excuses and recriminations. But THE CONSPIRACY and its LOVERS can't get around this: take out the STUPID TEENS and GET-A-LIFEs who must see every last bit of sci-fi and horror droppings and you may well be talking an annual national attendance of between 600 million and 700 million. That's little more than TWO TICKETS PER CAPITA. In 1950 it was TWENTY. Worse, all the new openings meant to appeal to a wider audience BOMBED. People like Toenail.com's INDUSTRY EXPERT can shout DVD and INTERNET till the receipts turn red, but everyone knows now the biz wouldn't make good films if a DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT ordered it, and what's more, they're shown in the skanky POPCORN RESTAURANTS, and who wants to pay good money to see a bad movie to the smell of stale popcorn and the feel underfoot of week-old Coke? For people to deny it's the product is gross dishonesty, pun intended.

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