Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Thursday, August 25, 2005

    Posted 4:51 PM by Gene

    After flailing around for a TV outlet for their obsolete pageant, the Miss America people are now (not unexpectedly) flailing around for a site. Without TV some things would cease to exist, like zillion-dollar salaries for athuhletes, and while we would not wager this is the end of an institution, it got here through blithe disdain for its sugar daddies' slow decline, followed by trendy rejiggering and panic. Firing Bert Parks was strike one; launching the immortal entertainer Vanessa Williams was strike two. The bat is moving.

    P. S. The P. T. Barnum of beauty pageants is kidding himself. Miss Universe (born after a swimwear maker's dispute with Miss America) broadcast out of Miami Beach for years before moving from venue to venue. That doesn't seem to have helped its ratings of late.

    P. P. S. How do they rewrite THE SONG?

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