THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
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Chocolate bars are out, but granola bars are in. Soda, even diet, is banned, but fruit juices are allowed.
Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction Tom Horne has released his proposal for what should and shouldn't be sold to kids in schools and is asking parents to weigh in.
The proposal would cause a radical shift in what students can buy at school snack bars and vending machines. Baked potato chips, 100 percent juice and low-fat cookies would replace fried chips, sports drinks and cupcakes.
Even foods that are allowed would have limits on portion size.
The recommendations come after the Arizona Legislature this year approved a law banning junk-food sales during the school day in elementary and middle schools, beginning in July 2006. High schools are exempt.
Knowing how DEFINITIVE SCIENCE IS we expect to hear five years from now how the movement to "healthify" school food has backfired, because kids and their ignorant or cowed parents have gotten around it, and perhaps also because (I would not be surpised to learn) they're undernourished by the new regimen, however healthy it is. After all, if the nutritionists can renovate the long-sarcosanct food pyramid they, like any scientist, can do anything.