THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Aug. 2 was a lackluster day in the trading of high-flying tech stock Syneron Medical. It barely budged, dropping a mere 9 cents to $40.85. After-hours action also looked blasé until 5:33 P.M. EST, when "freedompartner" posted this on Yahoo!: "Cramer said buy ELOS before earnings: Just finished taping the show. He loves ELOS." The message referred to market pundit James Cramer and his wildly successful CNBC show, Mad Money.
Syneron began moving higher and trading picked up. That night on Mad Money, which CNBC tapes from 4:30 P.M. to 5:30 P.M. EST and broadcasts from 6:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M. EST, Cramer indeed touted Syneron's laser products' ability to smooth away cellulite. "I am sticking the proverbial neck out" and telling you to buy ELOS now before earnings, he exclaimed. The stock spiked to $45.46 in after-hours trading on volume of 300,000 shares.
What happened? Apparently someone called Mad Money during taping for the Q&A segment, heard the tout while on hold and disseminated the information on the Web before the show aired, against CNBC's admonition.
A taped recording warns callers that they will hear the show and must agree to not disclose or trade on information discussed prior to that information being mentioned during the during the 6 P.M. airing. "This is extremely important," counsels the recording, "and if you cannot abide by this rule, please hang up now."
Transgressors can, of course, ignore the instructions, remain on the line and spread Cramer's picks. Should that happen, says a CNBC spokesperson, that person "would be banned from participating in all future programs, and the network will consider appropriate legal action based on the specific facts involved."
As it happens, viewers who bought ELOS got burned two days later. Syneron's earnings disappointed, and the stock fell back to its earlier level. On Thursday, it was trading at $36.83.