Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Saturday, August 20, 2005

    Posted 9:27 AM by Gene

    A "highly-touted product" of St. JoePa is on indefinite suspension for making nasty phone calls.

    Between this and Jim "The Used Car Dealer" Calhoun's hoopsters I think we're in for a golden age of juvenile sports delinquency -- and we haven't even started play yet!

    And that follows a couple of guys shooting ARROWS through the wall of an apartment.

    "You're freshmen, sophomores, you sometimes act like jerks. But when you get to be a fourth-year guy, a fifth-year guy, and you're still acting like a jerk, then I've got problems with it."

    But that's the thing about professional college sport -- you're SUPPOSED to be the BIGGEST JERK YOU CAN!

    And here's a Nebraska defensive end arrested for drunk driving!

    That's what we should do EVERY day: enter "player arrested" in Google News.

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