Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Thursday, August 18, 2005

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

One of the STUPIDEST, SHIFTIEST practices in American retailing is the RONG-AID 2-FOR-1. But two for the price of one, right? Right. But buy one and you BUY IT for THE PRICE OF TWO! You can't get one item at the two-for-one price; you have to buy two whether you want two or not. You can tell it's a RONG-AID two-fer when the little black box with indecipherable message appears on the promotional tag below the item in the aisle. Go up to the counter with one item and the clerk has to void it, adding to long lines and the retailer's costs. This annoying two-fer explains RONG-AID's IDIOTIC slogan, "With us, it's personal."

WITH ME IT'S PERSONAL TOO.

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