THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Matt Kenseth is fifth in the Nextel Cup standings going into today's MBNA 400 at Dover International Speedway.
But should he be?
According to the 2005 Nextel Cup rule book, perhaps not.
"If at any time two (2) or more drivers or car owners have the same number of points (a `tie')," Rule 17-4-C on page 34 reads, "each driver or car owner will be ranked according to the greatest number of 1sts in 2005 Events for the NASCAR Nextel Cup Series as of that time. If a tie still exists, the greatest number of 2nds, 3rds, etc. will be used in the same manner until the tie is broken. If a tie still remains, the driver and/or car owner establishing the best finish first in the season will prevail."
After the 26th race at Richmond, Kenseth and Carl Edwards each had 3,114 points.
Going into the Chase for the Nextel Cup, each had his points total reset to 5,015 points. But Edwards had two victories and Kenseth had one.
So, under Rule 17-4-C, that would put Edwards in eighth place and Kenseth in ninth.
After all, the rule does say "at any time."
And under Rule 17-3-B, eighth place starts the Chase with 5,015 points and ninth place should have had 5,010 points.
What's the big deal?
Well, if you're a member of the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS, and you're a CEO pouring BILLIONS into a sport so you can demoralize your subordinates endlessly, it's a VERY big deal -- like HOW MANY MORE BILLIONS WE'LL WASTE NEXT YEAR.