Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Sunday, September 18, 2005

Posted 4:42 PM by Gene

I know this article's supposed to be cute, but it makes me wonder if -- no, WHEN -- the hacks will run porno movie reviews. We grumpily remember how the late zillionaire and MICKEYMOUSE NIXON-toady Gene Siskel screamed his case for the A rating, which led to NC-17, the whole purpose of which was to "destigmatize" legit porn, which sadly never quite happened. We ruefully recall how this pile of Charmin plugged the late Adelphia's efforts to run triple-X on its cable systems, a move inevitably met by hack applause and huzzahs, and if it hadn't been for those Christian RETARDS they COULD have done it. We can see how such typing might engender the same kind of awwwwwwwws in the LALA luxury news suite as that Russian cat circus. But it is clear the hacks aren't changing their MO -- WE'D RATHER BE RIGHT -- just INTENSIFYING it, and in so doing INTENSIFYING their utter DISMISSAL of their subscribing PEASANTS.

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