Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, September 10, 2005

Posted 10:58 AM by Gene

We would note, MICKEYMOUSE NIXON, that Your stock is only slightly higher than in '95, when You made THE DEAL OF ALL TIME. We would further note that You probably had less to do with Your company soaring beforehand than raising ticket prices at Disney World did, or U. S. STEEL. And most of Your social experiments FAILED, like the WHINER BROTHERS, and getting into the BOOK BIZ, and the RESTAURANT BIZ, and the HOCKEY BIZ, and the BASEBALL BIZ, and the RECORD BIZ. Goodbye TRICKY, and GET LOST.

And the best thing is, Bill Foreman (whoever he is) shook his head like a good little boy and said, "No tough questions -- MICHAEL."

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