Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, October 30, 2005

Posted 1:34 PM by Gene

Excellent news; The BEEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOOO was down again (not so much as we'd like, but we'll take it), and but for the SLIME that oozed to the MARKET LEADER it would have been down SHARPLY, just as the MARKET LEADER will be down SHARPLY NEXT WEEK.

Also, it appears six of the top ten may not earn back their production costs. BETTER!

And SHUCKS, DOOM went down ONLY by 73.8 PERCENT. How ya gonna bring Goodthings to THAT number, PLASTIC MAN?

Interesting: CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGE doesn't mention it, thus once again practicing that SUPREME NEWS-HACK DICTUM: If the PUBLIC DOESN'T KNOW, it DOESN'T HAVE TO KNOW.

P. S. THE UNDER-17-UNACCOMPANIED-BY-A-PARENT SLIME.

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