Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, October 22, 2005

Posted 3:41 PM by Gene

EXCITING NEWS from our FAVORITE BUS-'N'-TRUCK STOP, the MERRIAM THEATER: Coming up on November 1 is THE FLYING KEYBOARD CLONKS OPRAH -- I mean, TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE! Sadly Hal Linden won't be in it due to a family illness, but we DO get HAROLD GOULD! And it's still brought to you by DODGE, PECO and HILTON!

And three weeks later, AN ORCHESTRA PLAYS LIVE VIDEO-GAME MUSIC -- TO PROJECTIONS!!!!! No word on any sponsorships.

I've said Kiss Me, Kate opened there in tryouts. So did Annie Get Your Gun. Irving Berlin and Ethel Merman must be rolling in their graves.

P. S. Do DODGE, PECO and HILTON get to run commercials during the play? And does THE FLYING KEYBOARD get a cut?

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