Posted 7:35 PM by Gene

One of the Web's supposed wonders is its putative musical riches. But scan iTunes or MSN Music and you find half the zillions of tunes they sell are duplicates and covers. (Look for any Elvis hit.) By not appealing to the unconventional listener they guarantee the Web is just another expensive version of CHEAP CHANNEL. Case in point, for me: they don't sell a glorious little British production tune called "Stop Gap", written by one Wilfred Burns, who made a career in B movies. Few people know it, save the Ren and Stimpy nerds who'll remember it as background music. I remember it as the opener and closer of Ralph Edwards's (l) syndicated revival of his game show Truth or Consequences, starring Bob Barker (r) before his embalming. (Anyone who watched it will remember the intro: an audience faking laughter, followed by an announcer who sounded like an old janitor -- and BEULAH.) It's something to wake you up in the morning, or better still, to inspire you when you're glum -- a lively, happy, invigorating, memorable, eloquent tune. Unfortunately it's only on an expensive hard-to-find album with other British stock music, and who wants to buy an album for one song? But our consolation is we have these fragments of what an absolutely wonderful song it is; you could use it for BILL'S FANFARE on your computer.

STEVE! BUGMEISTER! Why can't we have MORE MUSIC?