THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
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It should scarcely come as a surprise, though, that the center of world politics is also the center of fake hair.
It precedes one just as good:
"A combover is particularly inadvisable for anyone involved in politics," Baldwin writes. "As well as looking ridiculous, the wearer can appear misguided and even dishonest. To quote Philip II of Macedon: 'I could not think that one who was faithless in his hair could be trustworthy in his deeds.'"
And that precedes another one even better:
However ridiculous fake hair may be, politicians and other bigfeet just can't resist it. As Baldwin notes in his "Hairless History of the World" chapter, in an entry for 1942, when Gen. Douglas MacArthur took command of Allied forces in the Pacific:
"Regrettably, MacArthur attempted to cover up with a combover, prompting Alice Roosevelt Longworth (daughter of President Theodore Roosevelt) to remark: 'Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.'..."
Thank you, Jonathan Yardley! Thank you, Mark Krikorian!