THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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Strategically, however, any U.S. withdrawal would have to be conducted "from a position of strength," says Bruce Hoffman, a terrorism expert at Rand. Al-Qaeda has always believed Americans lack patience and stamina when "the going gets rough," Hoffman says. "If the U.S. is seen as being stampeded out of the violence in Iraq, that will only be waving a red flag at the terrorists."
Who is to say, for all the setbacks the holy cockroaches have endured, that their approach isn't still a shrewd one? That a nation whose hacks scream at the mere sight of blood from any new battlefield casualty, a nation that produces St. Cindy and other such JOOOOOOO haters, a nation that cannot stop producing [C]RAPPERS and GET-A-LIFE!RS and PC academics and Enronning PC businessmen, a nation full of whiners and moaners, a nation that searches out the first hole in the ground at the slightest threat of disaster real or imagined, who is to say the holy cockroaches don't have the right idea?