Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Wednesday, November 02, 2005

    Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

    More impartial, unbiased news:

    US terrorism specialists Daniel Benjamin and Steven Simon have reached a stark conclusion about the war on terrorism: the United States is losing.

    Despite an early US victory over the Taliban and Al Qaeda in Afghanistan, President Bush's policies have created a haven for terrorism in Iraq that escalates the potential for Islamic violence against Europe and the United States,

    the two former     Clinton administration officials say.

    Wait a second, Dave: shouldn't that be insurgency, or militancy? Or do we get a special dispensation when a REPUBLICAN's in the White House?

    PLUS IT'S A PLUG FOR A BOOK. A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (MILITANCY DIVISION) TO DAVE!

    P. S.

    US fortunes could improve, the authors say, if Washington took a number of politically challenging steps, such as bolstering public diplomacy with trade pacts aimed at expanding middle-class influence in countries such as Pakistan.

    TRANSLATION: We're DEMOCRATS -- and we don't have THE FOGGIEST NOTION WHAT WE'RE DOING.

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