Posted 6:38 PM by Gene

Once upon the time, long before the magisterial 7th Floor Crew was even embryonic, pop music was BAD. Today on the way home from work a particularly loathsome piece of it wouldn't cease running through my head: "Something's Gotta Give", a song Fred Astaire introduced in Daddy Long Legs, but one implacably linked to Sammy Davis, who in turn soldered it onto the flip side of a 45 to an even WORSE tune, "Love Me or Leave Me," which Sammy and his honking crew turned into a piece that someone could have written for him that day in the studio instead of the late 20's. AWFUL! Well, "Something's Gotta Give" was written by one of the most ILLITERATE of lyricists, Johnny Mercer. Glenn Miller, an especially dreadful musician, performed at least sixteen of his songs, including something called "Peekaboo to You," in which he does something only rock artistes do: he makes you stop and wonder what the hell the lyric is about. It's a song about Red Riding Hood and Wolves, and and toward the end he stops the show with these lines:

Mom, hand me my fowling piece
[And] I'll police those charms....

The problem is you have to go to a dictionary to figure out what he meant: a "fouling piece" is "[a] light shotgun for shooting birds and small animals." For the first time you understand the lyric, something you've puzzled over for years; and it's GREA -- TERRIBLE!

Sorry for writing this way, but the same cretinous scribblers who call the Hawk Chicken "respected" call [C]RAP GENIUS, and there's no getting around the clumping lockstep of their thinking, or the sulfurous stench of their philistinism.